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January 1st, 2008

HAPPY NEW YEARS

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To all you people who actually read this. . .
Happy New Years.

Much love and good wishes to you.
I hope that hell minds its own business this year
and that life treats you well, through and through.
Safety to all those you hold dear.
And that you succeed in all that you do.
And just know that there's somebody who loves you.
<3
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December 25th, 2007

CHRISTMAS PRESENTS!

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List of Gifts:
(In order of worst to best)

Two Pairs of Jeans.
Bag full of make-up, lotion, shower gel, etc.
(Gaudy) Earrings.
70 dollars (total) to three different stores.
Bracelets.
Winter Jacket.
Zip-up hoodie.
Ice Skates (YES!)
YAMAHA KEYBOARD!!!! (I OWN YOU ALL!)

And more stuff comin' from my friends. ; D

Merry Christmas everyone~!
<3

 

 

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December 10th, 2007

Read-throughs and news

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Found out that people can crush on anyone, at anytime, and from any direction.
And that new do's can be a good thing.
Made close friends, and missing seeing a whole bunch of people on a daily basis.
Hopefully I'll get a part in the play.
Go DEATH OF A SALESMAN~!
Hopefully I'll get Linda~

Perhaps I'll post my new poem. Rofl.
 
CHANCE and BELIEVE

Is this it?

Do you expect me to sit

back and pretend

that every word you say

doesn't make me fall faster

that every day

isn't a total disaster

Why can't you give me

a chance?

Why can't you see

how lovely we could be?

Are your eyes clouded

by a past romance?

Or is your heart shrouded

by that chance

that this could hurt more than help?

I don't want to believe

that we are impossible.

I want a reprieve

from the improbable.

I want to prove you wrong, and be proven wrong.

I want to dance to that last song,

If only once, if only for tonight.

If we can have on moment of romance,

If you can give me just one chance.

Love you, dear.

Forever and ever. </3

Whew. Finally got that outta my system.
Much love to Kendra, whose going through tough times, too.
And to all those trying out for parts.
Best of luck, loves!

OFF TO CHRISTMAS LIGHTS AND HOT COCOA WITH MY GS PEEPS! <33333
Love, Pillow.

October 28th, 2007

Why?

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My own world.
Why does everything have to be so damn complicated?
Why do guys enjoy toying with our heads?
Why do girls have to get their hearts broken by falling for guys?

Let's just say I'm not in the best of moods.
My parents are having trouble.
The guy I like doesn't even care.
My close friend is having trouble with his relationship.
My other close friend is having rumors spread behind her back.

What else could possibly go wrong?

In other news, I've figured out what I'm being for halloween.
It's technically either a Zombie Nurse or a Mad Doctor.
I haven't worked out those details, though I have the light green nurse pants, blue jacket-thingy, a white apron, and a small mouth-mask thing. 
I plan on splattering it all with red, putting black make-up under my eyes, with red blood around my lips.
Fun fun fun.

I'm taking Kelse and Ky out trick-treating, and supposedly Ash is coming along with a few of her friends.
More fun.

Oh!
Friday.
Best failure of my life.
I can only wonder if he had as much fun as I did.
I'll supposedly find out tomorrow.
I hope so.
If not, well.
It was still the best failure of my life.

Much love and best wishes,
Pillow. <3

 im over you, almost

Maybe I've been the problem, maybe I'm the one to blame
But even when I turn it off and blame myself, the outcome feels the same
I've been thinkin maybe I've been partly cloudy, maybe I'm the chance of rain
Maybe I'm overcast, and maybe all my lucks washed down the drain

October 22nd, 2007

Update!

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Yeah.
Life's gotten a tad bit more confusing.
But hey.
It'd be boring without it, right?

I've been questioning myself a lot lately.
Mostly about why it seems that everything I do backfires in some way, shape, or form.
Or why it seems that every guy I actually begin to like turns out to have something that prevents him from liking me back, whether it be his love for music or his shallowness.

I keep wondering why I was picked to be the Queen of Hearts.
I'm not nearly as loud as I should be.
Seriously.
Not saying that I'm not thankful - I thank whoever's watching over me every day for giving me enough luck (and talent?) to actually get the damn part.

Now if only they'd bestow some luck on me in the relationship department.

*sigh*
Well.
That's about it.
Sorry to disappoint you if you were looking for some big new things.

'I love it when he smiles and says hi to me, but I hate it when he looks away and thinks of her.'

amazingHearti like him but..heartbroken



Getting Over You

Getting over you
Is harder than I thought.
Getting over you
Wasn’t a battle well fought.
I wish I would have told you
The way I felt.
I wish you would have actually told me, too.
It’s hard to believe
That I fell for you
As far and as fast as I did.
But, all you’re doing
Is making me sad and blue.
And that just won’t do.
It’s going to be hard.
It’s going to hurt.
I’ll probably fall apart
Before it’s all said and done.
But the best thing for both of us,
Is if I start
Getting over you.

Giving Up On You

Don’t tell me no.
Don’t let it be so.
I wish you’d tell me yes
So I don’t have to second guess
What I already know to be true.
It’s what I’m feelin’ now, baby,
It’s only love for you.
To hear you say
That things can’t go down that way

. . .

It crushes me inside
But I’ll always hide
The truth from you.
That’s the last thing I wanna do.
The last thing I wanna do is hurt you.
I can’t believe
That everything is falling apart.
I can’t believe
I’ve let myself fall this far out of your heart.
It’s hard to say that I won’t care
But the last thing I dare
To do is tell to tell it true.
That’s right, I love you.
Yet, you can’t see things the way I do.
It seems you want to stay friends.
And I all can do is pretend.
But, the last thing I wanna do
Is finish giving up on you.

True

I suppose I was expecting this.
I suppose I was expecting no.
It was a hit or miss
And things ended up being so.
How could I have ever believed
That you’d ever accept me?
Is it bad to say I’m relieved?
I guess we weren’t meant to be.
I’ll get over you.
You’ll continue liking her.
You know that, too.
It’s sad, but true.
Pretty soon
I'll be over you.

SHALLOW

I didn’t expect you
To be this way.
I hoped that it wasn’t true.
But from what people say . . .
Things are going to stay the same.
You’ll still love looks over personality
And I’ll be the one to blame
For the technicality.
Just because you can’t see past
Her pretty face
To the fact that you’ll never last
With her in the first place.

October 18th, 2007

Can't Believe

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Simply can't believe it.
Even though I'm not doing as well as I should in one class, the other four are going lovely.
The teachers - most of 'em - adore me.
I have a good looking future in band.
I am getting my lines down in drama.
What else is there to want?

OH RIGHT.
A relationship.
But, hey.
That's very low on my list of things to do.

LIST OF THINGS TO DO:
Get All A's - 3/5.
Make Concert Band - Check (As of 10-18-07).
Get Queen of Hearts part in Drama - Check.
Learn Lines - Partial Check.
Make Okage/Stan Pillow - ND.
Get Jokes For Talent Show - 3/5.
Get A Relationship - Impossible.

Besides that?
Uh.
Six of my poems are in the hands of someone I trust.
She loves them, as well as a few others.
Um.
Yeah.

Here's hoping for a better tomorrow.

Love, 
Pillow.

SAMMIE I LOVE YOU, AND NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, I'M HERE FOR YOU!

October 17th, 2007

Poem Update

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Time's Challenge

 The Prince and the Princess can't be together because of their age,

a timeless tale told over many a page.

Its hard to say,

as the passing of night and day,

whether they'll ever have their way.

So many twists,

so many turns,

so many intricate rules they must follow.

Will their love for one another continue to burn,

despite the passing of a year or two?

Or will time prove to be too much of a challenge,

for our wayward lovers?

 

Falling In Love

Somebody once told me

that nothing was impossible.

What about falling in love?

Unlikely, Doubtful, Improbable.

According to most, anyway.

That's what they say,

out in the halls -

there is someone

for everyone

...

What if, though?

What if your someone is so far away

that when your night is here

they're still on their day?

What if your someone is so hard to find

that when you're preparing to give up

they're just making up their mind?

. . .

The possibilities are endless,

the risks are high.

The dice has yet to fall,

and the chances are on the fly.

The question is -

Why?

The Prince and The Pauper

 

A prince sits high

upon his throne.

Emotionless,

empty as stone.

A pauper stands by her friends

out in the streets, having fun.

Emotion-filled,

bright as the sun.

The prince knows naught

of how the pauper feels about him,

The pauper was taught,

the prince doesn't go about on a whim.

So, what kind of fairytale

has seemingly no happy ending?

The prince and the pauper,

one careless, the other defending,

one trying so hard,

the other relentless.

The prince, a god amongst his people,

is so oblivious.

The pauper, a friend amongst others,

is so obvious.

And to those who know them both,

they seem to be a perfect match.

To one another, though,

nothing seems to be there.

Emotionless, empty, like the air.

What is to become,

of these two?

The prince, and the pauper?

They music they play,

the lives they live,

day by day,

seems to go on just fine,

one without the other,

no one saying 'you're mine'.

Some fairytale.

 

Beauty and The Beast - My Take On It

 

Beauty was generous and kind,

The Beast was difficult and blind.

Together they were seen as cute,

Apart they were mute.

 

Beauty didn't know what to say,

The Beast never let her have her way.

Everyone was for them,

They were against them.

 

She wanted everything,

He wanted nothing.

She wanted to hope,

He wouldn't cope.

 

She tried to prove herself to him,

He didn't notice her.

She wouldn't give up,

He wouldn't give in.

 

No matter what she did,

No matter what they said,

All she hid,

was the price she paid

 

The Beauty who loved The Beast.

 

 

 Cinderella - My Take On It

 

Cinderella was looking for her prince charming,

Prince Charming wasn't for harming

his sweet Cinderella.

 

She had a dress,

He was in distress,

She had the shoes,

He couldn't choose.

 

Cinderella believed that he didn't love her,

Prince Charming did love another,

but could never stop loving

his sweet Cinderella.

 

She had no plan,

He had no more time on hand,

She thought she didn't have a chance,

He had trouble chosing only one romance.

 

Cinderella loved her Prince Charming,

Prine Charming loved his Cinderella.

 

The pair whose fate,

was held in the hands of time,

The pair whose date,

would end at midnight.

 

Princesses

 

Princesses are pretty,

Princesses are preppy.

Princesses grew up in the city.

Princesses just ain't me.

 

I'm in the band.

I sit in the stands.

They're the cheerleaders.

They stay away from the bleachers.

 

Princesses wear fancy dresses

and brand-name outfits.

I don't do dresses,

because I'm one of the misfits.

 

I'm not pretty.

I'm not preppy.

They're the ones who win guys' hearts.

They're the ones who rip ours apart.

 

Princesses turn up their noses

and strike stupid poses.

I'm just trying to be me.

Can't you all see?

 

Princesses just ain't me.

 

LOUD

 

Winners never quit

and quitters never win.

But in this life of banter and wit

never give up, never give in.

 

Stuck-ups and snot-faces

are the only real losers in life.

They act as if they can keep up the paces,

when all they do is cause strife.

 

Show-offs are indeed talented,

but with great talent comes great responsibility.

You'll end up demented,

by wasting your ability.

 

It's easy to up-stage someone.

It's easy to put someone down.

It'll be funny,

when you come undone.

 

It's hard to be loud.

It's hard to be a leader.

It's hard to be proud.

It's hard to be a crowd-pleaser.

 

But I'll try.

I'll keep on trying.

Til the day I die,

I'll keep on trying.

 

To prove to you,

To prove to everyone,

That is not what you can do,

but it's who you are,

what you want to become.

 

And, do you know what I want to become?

Loud and proud,

to the very end.

But, I don't want to change entirely.

I can contend

with my current demons well.

But the future?

That's something even I can't tell.

Brass

The sound of high silver,

mixing and flowing alongside low gold.

The music makes you shiver,

telling you of the secrets untold.

The striking stacatto of the brass,

contrasts with the legato of the low.

The lovely notes casts a spell upon the mass,

making your heart flow.

If only life and romance,

was as simple as the intricate dance,

the contest held between

the low and the brass.

Telling

The secret wishs of our hearts

long to be freed of their chains.

They wish to be a part

of our aches and pains,

as well as our hopes and dreams.

Telling that special someone

that you love them,

that you want to scream

their name to the high heavens,

is as difficult as getting those lucky sevens.

Telling that special someone,

is one heck of a chance.

You could lose everything with three simple words,

or gain your greatest romance.

All it takes is three simple words,

to tell that special someone it's true.

All you've gotta say is -

                                                                                      I love you.

CRASH AND BURN

It seems like everything I
try
Will wither and fade.
It seems like every lie
Won't be worth the trade.

Every guy,
Every hopeless love,
Turns out to be someone who's not gonna buy,
Who's not gonna fit the glove.

Crash and burn, baby.
That's all we've ever done.
I ain't no Sadie
and I'm never gonna be one.

I can't ask him,
I can't memorize that line.
I can't go about on a whim,
I can't be fine.

Crash and burn.
Twist and turn.

Watch me fall
out of his heart,
faster than them all,
as we fall apart.

Crash and burn, baby.
Crash and burn.

TOO LATE


Crash and Burn,
Twist and Turn,
As the wheels keep moving,
as the gears keep grooving.

Life keeps going,
there's no way of knowing
who is waiting on us
who isn't giving up on us.
Don't make a fuss
just tell them, tell them you love 'em.
There's no day like today,
there may not be a tomorrow.
Don't let regret and sorrow
get in your way.

All you gotta say
All you gotta say
is three little words.

I love you.

Don't crash and burn.
Don't wait.
Don't let those wheels continue to turn.
He might not say anything.

And by then, baby,
it'll be too late
.

 

Yeppers.
Totally crappy poems, I know.
I should probably start following my own advice, but hey.
I've never listened to myself, and I honestly don't know why anyone else does either.

As for the nice helping of confusion.
Well.
It doesn't really matter.
He loves her, and I'd feel terrible if he felt any other way.
I'm happy he's found the girl of his dreams.
I wish I was as lucky as he is.

I'm getting over him, as well.
I don't think about him as much anymore.
It hurts, of course.
Most things involving the matters of the heart hurt.

The end

And, as much as I'd love to sit beside him,
to talk with him, 
maybe even recieve a kiss, 
I know it isn't meant to be.

ConfusionnNot Good EnoughAnd Everyday She Looks Into The Mirror And Thinks She not good enough
I'm just not good enough.
But, I never was.
Never will be.
So, I plan on being
simply me.

Simply yours,

- Shelbs.

 

October 16th, 2007

Failure

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Is it just me, or is it sad that every relationship I get interested in crashes and burns in front of my eyes?
Oh well.
Tripped three times yesterday - once over a bass drum, once shoved, and once over a chair.
Found out the liking a guy is totally pointless.

Steve lost again.
loser
I won, even though I sometimes wish I would've lost.

Got a new song in band - which has a really stupid title.
'Gimme SOME* Lovin' I think.

Still doubting myself as the Queen of Hearts.
Queen of hearts
Had fun being the White Rabbit for a day, though.
Alice In Wonderland - White Rabbit

Told someone that the Bandersnatch was the prince of the shadowlands, sibling to the Jabberwocky.
Or rather, attempted to.

I've given up totally on him.
What's the point of wishing on a star that'll never cross my path?
When you wish upon a star

And, if you can't tell.
I'm bored out of my mind.
Hence the gathering of all these lovely icons.

DAILY DOSE OF ICONS:

SarcasmSarcasmsarcasmIrony and Sarcasm
Brokenlove is...good with bad, smile with sad,
dont be sad

And, if you STILL can't tell.
I'm also in a really crappy mood.
Be honored that I have the time and will to report this.
Until next time.

- </3 Shelbs.

October 11th, 2007

Relationships

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Well, let's see.
Today was full of surprises, as usual.
Found out that people tend to lie or ignore you for your own good.
Figured out that the possibilities are endless - for everyone besides me.
Mistook someone's words for someone else's. Don't know if I should be happy or sad.

I'm getting better at being loud, in both drama and band. I think.
I'm shocked at how loud Soulja Girl has gotten.
It scares me, to be honest.

Wonder when I'll get switched to varsity.
Oh well.
"Time will tell."

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